Night of the Dolphin II: Enter the Seal
by Fionn Whelan
Summary: Inspired by Treehouse of Horror XI. How to reclaim Springfield from the dolphins, lead by the evil King Snorky? Mild Language and Mild Action and Violence.
1. Chapter 1

In 'Tree House of Horror XI: Night of the Dolphin', the dolphins manage to push the people of Springfield into the sea. How do they get back? Can they stop the dolphin march to domination of the earth? To whom can they turn?

REQUIRED DISCLAMER: I do not own 'The Simpsons', all characters and plot concepts, save those introduced in this or any other of my works, are property of Matt Groening/20th Century Fox. I am not profiting financially by publishing this work. I retain all other intellectual rights.

"More seaweed, Honey?"

"No thanks," Lisa said morosely.

"Oh, come on, Lisa, you to eat to keep your strength up!"

Lisa sighed, and continued to look down on the floating cooler lid she was using as a plate.

"Aw! Stupid dolphins! I hate this!" Homer whined.

"My PSP's corroded! And all the TV is picking up now is just one stupid Spanish station!" Bart complained.

"Look, I know no one's happy. I mean, for crying out loud! We're floating in the blippin' ocean! We all have sores and rashes and barnacles in rather uncomfortable places. We're cold and wet and hungry, and have absolutely no privacy-"

"Hey-diddly-ho, Simpsons!" Ned said as he swam by.

"Stop swimming in my dining room!" Homer shouted.

"Look, its no good complaining about what we can't change! We're stuck in the ocean, and that's that!"

"Well, not necessarily," a lilting voice crooned. Their turned, treading water, and saw the Old Irishman floating in the water.

"Oh, hello," Marge said cordially, trying to mask her surprise at the intrusion.

"Ah couldn't help but overhear. You seem to feel the same as th'rest o' th'town." He paused, shaking out his pipe. I crab fell out. "I was jus' thinkin': if th'dolphins are intelligent, an' they pushed us out t'sea, then, why can't we enlist the help o'some o'the other creatures of the deep."

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked, paddling over, the faded, tattered remnants of her red dress billowing around her.

"Well, I was thinkin' about the legend of the Selkie, an' I thought to meself, 'Why not ask them for help?', the seals, I mean. I mean, afterall, dolphins are competitors with the seals, eatin' th'same food, an' some dolphins, killer whales and false killer whales, eat seals. So, if we can' beat the dolphins on our own, and they can', perhaps then we can band together and defeat them! What d'ya say?"

They considered their options for a moment.

"Well, it'd sure beat floating here until we all die of starvation and sun exposure."

"Not to mention crotch rot."

"I didn't need to hear that."

Later that night, the group huddled together, and it was decided that they would send forth a delegation to Seal Island, a pile of rocks to the south of Springfield Harbour, and ask the seals for aid.

The next morning, Homer, Marge, Ned, Ruth Powers, Principal Skinner, Moe, Willie, Rev. Lovejoy, Chief Wiggum, and a few of the children set out on one of the few boats the group could spare, and they began their voyage to Seal Island.

"Why did we have to bring all the kids? What if the seals are hostile?"

"Marge, for sympathy! Think, how would you feel if a bunch of seals came up to the door, showed you their cute little baby seals, and told you how some big mean dolphins kicked them out of their ocean?"

"Hrrrmmm… I guess it's a sound strategy."

Bart and the kids were glad to be out of the water. For weeks, they had been floating on sodden couches and mattresses, clinging to boards and life preservers, and were never more than a foot away from the rolling sea. Their clothes were sodden rags, rotting on their skin. They promptly tore them off and ran about on the deck of the sailboat naked, the warm sun and fresh air caressing their sore and itching skins. Bart felt strange seeing Jessica Lovejoy on board. Seeing her, lying on the top deck, basking in the sun like a goddess, made him feel all at once thrilled and horribly ashamed. It was like a vision from a rare dream, a moment when the world felt as though it truly were a place of magic.

"Jessica! Children! Get down here now! I'll not have you all running about naked as jaybirds! We're Christians, not heathens running around on some beach!"

"Kids, I have some fresh clothes!"

Marge had found some clothing and blankets bellow deck. None fit, as the boat was once that of Captain McAllister, but they were better than nothing, and the first change of clothes they had in for nearly a month. Bart caught Jessica looking at him. She was smiling at him. Nervously, he smiled back.

They reached the island in the afternoon. They saw it looming on the horizon, a mountain of black rocks, floating like a black cloud. They could here the cackling gulls and smell the stink of fish. As they drew nearer, they heard the barking of seals. Lisa leaned over the edge, and saw several swimming alongside them. They leapt from the water, clapping their flippers, splashing in the salty mist. As they slowed and began to weigh anchor, she saw them, floating, looking up at her with their enormous dark eyes. Her unpleasant ordeal with the dolphins had left her wary of the denizens of the deep she had once thought cute and cuddly.

"Hello," she said softly. They continued to stare at her, unblinking, as they bobbed up and down with the waves.

They laid out the landing ramp, and stepped on to the island. They continued along the narrow edge of the island, the sea spray in their nostrils and the waves inches from their feet, for half the diameter of the island. Then, they found a fissure in the rocks, followed the water in. The seals were swimming right next to them, some ignoring them, others stopping and watching them with their intense gaze. The stopped at a cul de sac, where all the dolphins were lying on the rocks in the sun that now was slanting through the rocks. At the back, near the rock wall, was the Alpha: an enormous male with a great shaggy main and gleaming fangs sticking out from his mouth. The sea lions barked, alerting their leader to the newcomers. Growling, he slid down from his comfortable spot in the sun, and, accompanied by several lesser males and his mate, he went to meet the strangers.

He stood before them, raised as high as he could, snarling, sniffing.

"Grrr…"

"Ehem…er, Mr. Seal, uh, sir," Skinner blundered.

"Seal? I am no common seal! I am a sea lion! Monarchs of the coasts, we are a proud and mighty race, and this is my pack! I will not be addressed as 'Mr. Seal', thank you very much, for I find it as repellant as you would surely find being called 'little man'!"

"Well, then, sir, erm, sea lion, we are humans from Springfield. We were driven into the sea by the dolphins, lead by their King Snorky. He killed several of our people, and took our town. We now float, helpless, waiting to die of sun exposure and dehydration. We ask your help in driving the dolphins back into the sea!"

"Back into the sea? Why would _I_ want those infernal dolphins back in my ocean? They stole our fish, they infringe upon our territory, and murder my people. I could not be happier to be rid of them! Drive them back into the sea? What would they do then, but wreak their vengeance upon us!"

"Please! Our people our starving! They're dying!"

"And I care? Your people hunted us for our skins! They poison our waters, steal our fish, and treat us like vermin! Your boats scare away our food and cut us to pieces. Just the other day, a mother was murdered by one of your 'motorboats', her head smashed open. Her pup has no one to feed her now. You ask us for help? Then allow me to refuse it!"

"Please, Your Majesty," Lisa begged, pushing to the front of the crowd, "Please, I am the one who deserves punishment! I released King Snorky from captivity! Its my fault, and I desrve whatever comes my way, but please, I beg of you, I have a brother and a younger sister! My sister, she's just an infant?"

"Infant? A pup?"

"Yes. She can not walk, and she can't swim. If we can't return to land, if we can't find food, she'll die! And there are others just like her! Please, don't let them die on my account! I can't save them-If I could spare them, I would. Please, if you help us, I promise that we'll change! We will treat you with the respect and honour you deserve. We'll slow down our boats, and put guards around the propellers. We'll cut down on fishing…"

"We'll divert the sewage lines back into the lake!" Skinner added.

"Please, Lord of the Sea Lines, think of the children!" Homer groveled

"Think of the children!" Helen Lovejoy shrieked.

The old sea lion looked at them, sniffing and growling. He saw the desperation in their eyes. And there, in one of the children, Jessica, he saw it. _Yes…one of our children._

"I shall consider it. I have not agreed to anything, any more than my giving your request my consideration, and the promise to give you my answer on the morrow. For tonight, you may sleep on my island, and eat our fish. With the dolphins gone and your boats shut down, we have food a-plentiful once more." With that, he dove into the water, followed by his entourage.


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon, Stephen, the sea lion chieftan, sent forth two seal from the pack-one north, one south. They were instructed to swim along the coast and spread the word, asking for aid from every piniped they came across.

The group brought the boat into the small harbour on the island, and set up camp for the night amongst the sea lions.

"Pah! It stinks!" Helen Lovejoy complained.

"Hey, this our home! How'd you like it if we flopped on into your home and told you it stunk of artificial cleaners and foul popouri?" one of the sea lions objected. One of his fellows sniffed the air.

"Do you smell something?"

They sniffed. They turned in the direction the smell: Homer Simpson.

"Ugh!"

"Yecch!"

The refugees fashioned a tent from driftwood, tarp, aluminium pipes, and duct tape. They set up one tent for the women on the one end of the cove, and another for the men on the opposite side. In between, they started a fire for cooking.

"What do we have to cook?" Skinner asked, sitting down by the fire.

"Let's see…saltines…condensed milk…energy bar for women…and a mouldy piece of beef jerky," Marge said morosely.

The sea lions saw their predicament.

"Should we offer them some of our catch?"

"Them? No, certainly not!"

"They're the ones who poisoned our waters and stole our fish. Why should we help them?"

"Because it is what we must do," said one of the older females, the chieftan's sister, "Are we not God's creation? Are these not our caretakers?"

"Pretty good job they've done so far," one of the younger males barked, "Look at them! They can hardly care for themselves." He watched as Homer slipped on some bird faeces and fell into the water. "Morons. Who put them in charge?"

"Shh! Dare you question the Creator's choice?"

"Well…"

"We can spare some. The fish have been plentiful this year."

"But they can't eat our foods! They have to eat everything from tin cans or those crinkly packages," said a small yearling.

"Not true. They lived differently once. They ran about like us Beasts, naked and wild. They ate uncooked flesh and the fruit of the earth. They came to cook their foods over fire, and as it made them safer and, to them, better tasting. They can live as that once more."

The old sea lion cow flapped and slid down to the camp fire, where Marge and Ruth were tending the flames. She set several fish down before them, and barked softly to get their attention.

"Here. These are quite good."

"Thank you," Marge said sincerely.

"There is some sea cabbage along the rocks. I'll go gather some. It makes a good soup."

"Thank you so much."

That night, the Springfielders had the first true meal they had had in weeks.

"Yum. Marjorie, you must tell me what's in this exquisite soup!" Helen Lovejoy laughed as the others slurped heartily from their bowls.

"Seaweed."

Beat.

"Seaweed?"

"Yes. Seaweed."

"Nothing else?"

"Water."

"Oh. Well, its good."

"It was Tinia's idea. She gathered the seaweed, and told me to boil the water then add it slowly while stirring. Its quite simple, really."

The sea lions watched the humans eating from the shadows.

"You shouldn't have done that!" one of the cows scolded Tinia.

"Why not? They can't swim well, and they didn't know where to find it."

"We don't serve humans!" growled one of the bulls. "Just because Stephen finds it in his heart to allow these barbarous two-leggeds on our island doesn't mean you have to go and gather meals for them! I suppose you think we should all balance balls upon our noses and prance about for their amusement as well!"

The humans went to sleep almost immediately after dinner, though Marge made sure that they all thanked their hosts for their kindness and hospitality. Full with hot soup and mackerel, they drifted off to sleep with the crashing of the waves as a lullaby. All of them, except Jessica.

Jessica tried for many restless hours to sleep, tossing and turning in her grimy sleeping bag. She finally gave up and decided to take a walk around the island. As she climbed up the rocks, Bart awoke, and followed her, silently, to the top of the island. He found her standing, staring at the sea, her long dark hair blowing in the breeze.

"Hey Jess."

She turned with a start.

"Oh. Hey Bart," she said airily.

"Pretty out, init?" he said, feeling stupid and awkward.

"Yeah," and she tilted her head up to the skies. "The stars are so beautiful!"

"Yeah. They're really bright."

They stood for a while, a electric madness running between them. She looked at him, and he looked back, terrified.

A sea lion cow intruded upon their silent exchange. She flopped across the rocks. Both children looked, perplexed. The sea lion looked up at the heavens, the stars reflected in her black pearl eyes.

"You are one of us," she crooned.

"Pardon?"

"One of us. Our kind. A child of the sea."

"Whachootalkinbout?" Bart snapped.

"Not you, pup, the young female. She is one of own. She is why Stephen agreed to help your people."

"I'm…a seal?"

"A Selkie."

"A what now?"

"The descendants of the king's children. Long ago, in the days when an Irish king sat upon the throne of Eire, there was a good and noble king, who had many children by his beautiful queen. She was a glorious woman, with dark, gleaming eyes and ebon hair, and all her children inherited her features. But she died, and her husband's advisers urged him to remarry. He married a chieftan's daughter, a wretched, spoiled woman. She hated her adopted children, and was urged by her father to kill them, thus, ensuring that one of her line would be the next king. She was a student of the Dark Arts, and, one day, while at the shore with her children, she turned them into seals. They were trapped in their seal forms, only to shed their skins briefly in the light of the full moon. They lived and had children by the normal seals, but all their children had human souls, and shed their skins to take human form in the moonlight."

"If a human can steal the Selkie's seal skin while they are in human form, then that Selkie can not return to the sea, and will be at the human's command. The children of such a union all bear the sign of the Selkies: darks, shinning eyes and dark, dark hair. And in them all is the love of the sea, and good fortune."

She paused, and looked at Jessica. The seal twitched her whiskers. She looked alien in the dim starlight.

"You are the child of the Selkies. Your mother is not Helen Lovejoy, but me. Your father caught me on the beach years ago. He seized my skin before I could put it back on, and I bore you. I loved you, Jessica, but every minute I spent away from the sea was maddening. The second I could, I took my skin and returned to the water. But I never forgot you, nor did I stop looking after you. Even when your father married the harpy he calls his wife."

Jessica stood, silent in the darkness.

"I am Stephen's sister. He saw the Selkie in you, and knew that he could not turn away one of his family."


	3. Chapter 3

Seals story chapter 3: Killers

The dawn broke sharply on the rock island. The seals rose with the break of dawn, barking and flapping their fins on the wet rocks. They slid into the chilly water and sped through the dark depths, whiskered noses poking about for food.

The humans woke slowly and just as loudly, stretching and yawning and moaning.

"Oh…"

"Aw man…"

"My back is shot."

"My mouth tastes like doody," Ralph cried.

"Good morning humans," Tinia said, flopping down from the rocks. "Sleep well?"

"Well, considering our previous nights were spent sleeping on a couch floating in the harbor, yeah, actually, great," Homer answered.

"Well, it's a beautiful morning," the seal cow continued, "And look at those gulls! The fish are plentiful today."

A small seal waddled up to Tinia.

"Momma, can I go out and hunt with Aaron?" he asked.

"Alright, dear, just stay close to him, and don't swim out to far."

"Okay Momma."

The little seal waddled to the edge of the rocks then dove into the green water and sped away.

The girls were gaga over the little pup.

"What a cute baby seal!"

"Aw!"

"Aw, that's your baby?" Marge asked.

"Yes, from last fall. Isn't he a darling? How many pups-er, chil-ren…?…do you have?"

"Bart's my oldest, then Lisa, and Maggie. I left Maggie with my sisters for this trip."

"How old is the little on?"

"One year."

"Oh, so…how grown up is she? I don't know how fast your kind mature."

"She can walk, but not very well. She's making sounds, but I've never heard her say any actual words."

"My, your kind grow so slowly. My little Jamie is just over four seasons and already he's swimming on his own."

Tinia looked up suddenly, her tiny ears folded back.

"Something's wrong."

Bart came running along the rocks.

"Mom! Dolphins!"

"Killer whales! Killers!" the seals started to bark. Out from the rocks, where the seals had been feeding, a pod of killers had drifted in from the deep waters and was picking them off one by one. Their waters turned white with splashing and flailing, and the gulls swirling and screeched overhead.

"Mom, we have to do something!" Lisa begged.

"Forget it," Helen Lovejoy said, "What can we do?"

"If we don't do something they'll all be killed!"

"Not on my watch!" Homer yelled from the bow of the boat. "Hop aboard men! No ones eats my hosts!"

Skinner, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned, Chief Wiggum and Bart hopped on the boat.

"Boat, forward!" Homer yelled.

They sped out into open waters where the orcas were making slaughter. Homer leaned off the side of the boat, knife clenched in his teeth. As they came alongside a killer, Homer jumped off and grabbed the whale by its back fin. Taking his knife in hand, he screamed "Die, Free Willie! From hell's heart, I stab at thee!" and plunged the knife into the whale. The creature didn't even notice. Skinner ran to the front of the boat, holding a harpoon.

"Homer, catch!" he called as he threw the spear. Homer grabbed it and drove it into the orca's back. The whale squeeled and rolled, throwing Homer.

Seeing Homer in the water, the other killers stopped.

"Whoa, look at that yellow walrus!"

"I get dibs on his fins!"

The orcas rushed to devour him. Homer waved to the boat, and Lovejoy steered it around and brought it to pick him up. Homer grabbed the railing and had begun to pull himself up when an orca burst from the water, jaws open. Bart was ready, and hit it on the nose with an oar. The oversized dolphin chirped and sunk back under. The other orcas peeked out from beneath the water.

"What the- humans?"

"That's right, Shamu! The dominan species on this planet!"

"How dare you interrupt our feeding!"

The killer whale Bart clubbed resurfaced.

"Hey guys! They killed Freddie! They harpooned him!"

"What? Why you puny little-!" the whale started. The bright red dot that appeared on the side of his head made him stop. Skinner stood on the bridge, holding a speargun with a laser sight.

"Puny what?" he asked.

The whales growled and disappeared beneath the waves.


	4. Chapter 4

Seals chapter 4

In the following days, seals, eared seals and true seals, and even a few walruses arrived at the island from far and wide. King Stephen sent a seagull messenger to alert the drifting Springfielders of the plan to retake the city from the malevolent dolphinidae.

"Leopold…welcome. Leopard seals, fierce predators. They'll be very helpful. Elephant seals…hello Al, welcome, welcome. Harbor seals…California sea lions, grey seals, harp seals…They're all here. Good."

Steven climbed to the top of his rock. He clapped his flippers together to call the seals to attention.

"Fellow pinipeds, I have called you all here today, to do battle with our ancient enemy."

"Sharks?" asked the fur seal.

"No."

"Tuna nets?" asked a monk seal.

"No."

"Canadians?" asked the fluffy white harp seal.

"No! Dolphins! The snatchers of our mackerel, the devourers of our children!"

"I thought that the dolphins had lef the sea," a fur seal bull said.

"Yeah," the wrinkled red seal joined, "I heard they were all headed to Springfield, to kick the humans out."

"That, my brothers, is why we are here. The humans who once resided in Springfield have come to me asked our aid in reclaiming their home."

"And you agreed? Of course you did. I always knew that you were soft for the two-leggeds, Stephen. Why don't you just join the circus and play the bike horn chorus?"

"They saved my people from a killer attack, and the risk of their own lives. We owe it to them."

"Yes, but, even if we should help them, and if we were to succeed, what then? What will the dolphins do once we drive them back to the sea? Surely, they'll take it out on us."

"It's the risk we take. But we are obligated to repay them for their aid. We owe them a life-debt."

"Hey!" Comic Book Guy snapped, "Watch it!"

The seals growled and spoke amongst themselves.

"Give us some time," the fur seal said, and they flopped over to the other side of the island.

Hours passed, the tide receded and then rose, and the sun sunk wearily.


End file.
